So it is true I can do 7 hours to Italy just about standing on my head, piece of panettone. What I don’t do so well is practice patience.

I can’t seem to get off a plane fast enough; people walk thru the airport like they have no where to be. Customs is a meet and greet – I just got here, what do we have to discuss? Others just mill about with a luggage cart and 6 trunks wrapped in layers of seran wrap so thick they must use a jigsaw to unpack. I do NOT have the patience for this. There is no sense of urgency and it makes me insane. I want to get off the plane so I can hurry up and wait!

And wait I will. For 6 hours. Being anywhere in Italy – an airport, a dog park, the grocery story- makes me happy, I just can’t stand the anticipation. I am twitching because Egypt Air isn’t open to check my bag. I had hoped to skip into town for a late breakfast and some shopping but that’s not going to happen as I refuse to schlep 2 pieces of luggage with me.

I am practically vibrating in my seat because I want to get moving. I want be on the plane, if not in the car on the way to the hotel. If I cannot have that, I want a souvenir of my time spent here in the airport. I am three cappuccinos deep. I am sure this isn’t helping.

I want. To be there. Already.

Instead, I am going to luxuriate in one of two lounges with my café and a chocolate filled croissant. That is until I can burst thru the doors upstairs, hit the concourse, announce my arrival and get my cured meat on.

Some observations: seriously United, get it together. Every single Delta employee I encountered was so Nice, capital N. They smiled. They were polite. I am still reeling from the whole thing. Quit spending money to install gourmet dining experiences at EWR and start sending your miserable staff to charm school. Both airlines gutting their loyalty programs has won far more critics than fans, but come on. Delta’s experience was way ahead.

I am currently taking up space in the Priority Pass lounge. It’s 10am, and I am the only one in here. Love it. Free wifi. Coffee and snacks as far as the eye can see. It’s a bit warmer than I would prefer. I am stripping off layers and mopping up with paper towels. I glow but not from happiness. Still, I’m happy to squat here until I inevitably get thrown out for indecent exposure.

Edited update: so, went to check my bag and saw this.

I do not scare easily but I am unsure if that says “check your handgun at the door” or “hope you brought your piece, you’re gonna need it.” This being an adventure and all, I didn’t let it deter me.

Flight to Cairo was awesome and I got a surprise upgrade to first class. Who knew? Sure as hell can’t get one domestically. There were so few seats filled that the man sitting next to me jumped up and ran to another empty seat almost immediately after I sat down. Sort of like at home.

Made it thru to my transfer, and asked 7363627 questions upon my pick up. Highlights of my learnings include:
-Don’t drink the water. Don’t even use it to brush your teeth. I didn’t get to ask why because I think I was still a bit in shock. Regardless, you don’t got to tell me twice.
-My ‘guide’ who picked me up from the airport was talking real estate and compared it to that of the prices in Brooklyn and Long Island versus New York. I asked him how he knows these places considering he has never been. He said he “learned all about New York and the other areas from Grand Theft Auto.” So, video games really do build bridges, I guess.
-The Arab Uprising was not well thought out, if at all. And so after a few years, people are still pretty much where they were when they started. Politics – still universally maligned.
-The US Embassy here won’t issue visas without so much paperwork that most Egyptians can’t be bothered. In a roundabout way, the government doesn’t want you to leave for fear you wont come back, so they make it almost impossible.

There’s a ton more, but I hope to learn other things tomorrow and ask more detailed, personal questions.

Ramses Hilton, by the way, very nice. Pleased so far. Got an upgrade here, too. Glad I am being treated like the princess I am.